Warning! Start reading only if you’re ready for the ride. Try to envision my dramatic self and high-pitched voice when you see words in CAPS or italics. *(Books recommended are NOT limited to the ones on here. Stick around…)
19. Life does not revolve around “school.” Hollup! Notice I said “school,” not “EDUCATION.”
People know that I loveeee school oh myyy! I’ll be honest; I used to feel like the biggest girl in the world because of my good grades. But here’s the “sweet” truth: I could get all the good grades in school and still not do something worthwhile with my life. This does not undermine the importance of “school,” again notice I didn’t say “Education…” yeah, I had to learn the difference by force lol. I’ll forever remain on my A game by His grace, but I’m glad I’ve learned that my life is beyond the four corners of a building, beyond a letter grade gotten from a 2hr test. I can only make it count by doing something useful with it, genuinely making efforts to LEARN and IMPACT the world around me.
Book: Why ‘A’ Students Work for ‘C’ Students. by Robert T. Kiyosaki
18. Your life-journey is not dependent on the pace of others. FOCUS!
Here’s the shocker: even with all my good grades, I didn’t get into college at the same time as my mates and yeah, that got me sad initially. I had to wait for about two years but little did I know that they’ll become the most valuable years of my life. Superbly uncomfortable at that point, but the growth those years brought is one I wouldn’t trade for anything! Towards the end of that period, I had gotten to the point where I understood beyond any reasonable doubt that: “As a child of grace, ALL my steps are ordered by God, I can NEVER be disadvantaged and EVERY THING works together for my good…”and so it is for EVERY child of grace (notice the caps). I eventually got into a college that awed me, but I was already confident enough in the pace of my life before that door opened. We sometimes get carried away by the successes of others and really miss out on the treasures that await us. Surprisingly, we also get carried away by the failures of others and really restrict our minds to the beauties meant for us; beauties that come ONLY when we embrace OUR journey. I’m forever thankful that God deemed it fit to teach me these at that point.
Book: Battlefield Of The Mind. by Joyce Meyer
17. Your words are your reflection and your perfume. BE GRACEFUL!
At the age of 17, it was clear that cuss words weren’t for me lol, no matter how much I tried to “fit in”, it just didn’t sit right. But it took me a while to fully understand the power of words, to understand that my words affect ME first, even before I let them out; your words are literally who YOU are because you ALWAYS speak from your heart (Luke 6:45). When it dawned on me the kind of woman I want to be, my words became my pride instead: graceful, always edifying, less negative ‘restrictions’ and more positive ‘confessions.’ I started speaking life and I watched how it transformed my inside, the way I viewed things, and the world around me.
Book: The Power Of Your Words. by Robert Morris
16. You don’t ALWAYS have to know what the future holds, and that’s fine really! TRUST TIME!
Somehow, time and I became best friends lol. Being one that wanted to be ahead of my game, I would get so upset and impatient when I didn’t know what to expect next, especially when it came to dealing with people, my emotions, or breaking off a bad habit. But I’ve learned that time is a gift! A lot of people attach many functions to time but really, it has just two, highly important functions. I just have to dedicate a full post for this but for the meantime, I’d rather you read a book on it instead. I’m literally begging lol, get this book! It’ll really do you good.
Book: The Slight Edge. by Jeff Olson
15. Your dreams should scare you, but more importantly, they must inspire and instill FAITH in you…to stop sleeping of course. STAY WOKE!
Ever had those ideas/burdens/dreams that come to your mind or are engraved in your heart, and you laugh them off? We’ve always been told to dream big, stretch ourselves, go beyond and act accordingly but when things begin to look impossible, what next? I’ve been learning that impossibility is really fear IN and OF possibilities, and that automatically restricts FAITH. Beyond dreaming big and running on self-motivation from TED talks or inspirational speakers (that would eventually leave you tired and stuck at some point); the element of FAITH in that dream of yours would be enough to keep you going. Especially when it comes to things of eternal value, FAITH, and not fear in the power of your dreams, will definitely keep you woke.
Book: The Alchemist. by Paulo Coelho
14. Submission is beautiful; a perfect God would not give an imperfect instruction!
At the age of 14, I was well on my way to becoming the most rebellious lady you might have ever met lol. I’ll be honest; I can’t help but laugh when I think of how much I hated the word “submission.” But it pleased God to open my heart to the beauty of His plan; to make me understand that submitting to Him, through the authorities that He has placed over me, as a young lady now (and later as a married woman😊) would only help develop me into who He wants me to be. There’s so much to say about this but again, for the meantime, I’d rather have you read a book on it. This book is perhaps the oldest I’ve read, written by very wise women too, and it definitely changed my entire views on submission. Do all you can to get this book!
Book: For Women Only: The Fine Art of Being A Woman. by Evelyn R., Comp. Petersen
13. You do not rise by pulling others down; avoid degrading competition, see the best in people and speak well of them.
At 13, all I wanted to do was compete with everyone and “prove” that I’m the best lol. But this only pushed me further away from my goal, leaving me with so much bitterness in my heart. Especially when it comes to the things of the gospel, having the “we’re in this together” mentality is SO key. I’ve learned that there’s only so much that I can do on my own. I’ve learned (and I’m still learning) to value synergy more than personal energy, to fan people’s flame, believe the best and speak well of them –whether they deserve it or not. You really have nothing to lose by doing this.
Book: Love: The Way To Victory. by Kenneth E. Hagin
12. In most cases, you can’t change the things around you, but you can change the things within you. Choose to start with YOU, it’s the fastest route to actual change.
Well, you’re welcome! I can guarantee you’ll read about this the most on this blog…if you haven’t started already. After years of struggling with things I just couldn’t do anything about –and this includes how other people CHOSE to act –I’ve learned that the only guaranteed route to actual change is working on YOU first (me actually haha)… “if you can’t change yourself, you should not assume you can change others… you can’t give what you do not have.” Try YOU first!
Book: God’s Generals. by Robert Liardon
11. You can control your emotions! Being “open-minded” and being “open-hearted” are two veryyyy different things.
At age 11, I think I “fell in love” with a guy for the first time lol… and I remember telling my mum that I was in love (don’t worry, she didn’t kill me…cus I’m still alive duh). My mum took her time to really explain the difference between love, lust, infatuation, and more deep stuvvs…then she told me I’ll get over the “feelings” sooner than I thought. Well did I?… story for another post. What is more important is that I’ve learned (still learning) how to be in control of my feelings/emotions, by thinking more with my head and less with my heart. I don’t have to allow everything processed by my mind to seep into my heart, and I’m absolutely in control of that. My emotions naturally want me to raise my voice when I’m upset, get depressed from things happening around me, or “fall in love” with any guy that gives me enough attention, without considering the more important things. Yeah, talking about guys now; Yoruba angels have come to stay, what shall woman do apart from guard her HEART diligently?… post for another day, but for the meantime, here’s from me to you:
Book: Living Beyond Your Feelings. by Joyce Meyer
10. “Except the Lord builds a house…” (Ps 127:1). Fear is a lie, worry is a distraction…be calm my gee. Let go and let God.
Just so you know, tiny teardrops appeared while writing this one. It’s definitely an incredible feeling to be TOTALLY free from fear. At age 10, I was partly responsible for my baby brother and I was abnormally scared of something bad happening to him. As you’ll guess, this “fear” seeped into other areas of my life. “Raising” my baby brother was (still is) like raising my own son, and God used this channel to teach me how to really trust Him with things that were beyond me. I couldn’t always be there for my brother lol, just like I can’t always be there when my exam is being graded (speaking the prayers of WASSCE days), or when a loved one is in pain, or when people are speaking against me. I can’t always be there, and I’m overly joyful that I don’t HAVE TO be there; I can let go and let God.
9. Nothing can replace family. But many things can improve it. Be one of those “things.”
Many times, I compared and condemned my family, accentuated its many faults and got depressed numerous times from this. But now, I don’t mind being called “chief-lady-obsessed-with-family-things.com.ltd” lol! God used people to teach me early enough that the place people struggle the most is where they could be the most useful for His kingdom. I’ve learned to fight the right battles and ask the right questions. I’ve since been met by great assurance and pure hope. Family remains one of the best gifts mankind would ever have, one of the wisest ideas pioneered by a perfect God. Nothing compares!
8. You do not know everything; calm down. You can’t always have your way, and you’re not the only smart kid living. Calm down!
(Quiet subs to myself) I literally composed a song with these words, just for me! loool. Yes, I had to let this sink in. I used to feel like I knew everything and everyone had to know that I did lol. I never agreed that any of my ideas could be wrong, “they only need to be improved upon,” I would say. But I realized this only pushed amazing people further away. I learned the importance of VALUE: everyone loves to be valued, and so, they must be given a chance to express their gifts…while I calm the hellat of me down and watch others in delight. These words have kept me sane for a few years now; I hope they do for you too!
Book: How To Win Friends And Influence People. by Dale Carnegie
7. Good character is priceless. Its ripple effect is definitely the path to a better world. Build your world; it’s in your nature!
This!!! Special thanks to my dad for emphasizing this consistently, although it came with the “threat” most common to any African girl: “is this what you’ll be doing in your husband’s house?” At some point, I really started behaving myself just so I wouldn’t hear that question lool. But I’m so glad I’ve come to really appreciate it! My spiritual mentors, Mr. Odudu-Abasi Essien and Miss Joy Edoja, do not only teach me extensively about the value of good character, they also show me (by being examples) that it is in my nature, through Christ, to be a lady of impeccable character, values, and standards. My world has become a lot lighter by the understanding of these.
Book: Character Counts. by Charles H. Dyer
6. Good books are divine. Not only because they are treasures on their own, but because they also have the ability to unlock the treasures in you. Pursue them and Value them!
I literally want to scream for this one, my gahhhhd. In all honesty, no one had to teach me to loveee books when I began to see how most of my problems and questions were being solved and answered just by studying. Actually, I think what I enjoy the most about reading good books is knowing that I am not alone in whatever I am struggling with. Being able to tap into the wisdom of people who were bold enough/inspired to put it down in writing has saved me from a lottt of mistakes. Good books just have to be divine! And they certainly should be read (studied) more than once!
Book: The Bible (you might want to begin with the most transformative book of all haha. Absolutely a must read forever! And then a thousand gazillion bunch of others…ohh what a joy!)
5. If you can’t state EXACTLY what you’re doing to not make the same mistakes as your parents, family members, friends…then your chances of repeating these mistakes are pretty high boo. Be DELIBERATELY SPECIFIC!
I’m forever grateful to my mum for always emphasizing this to me. It’s not enough to say you do not like certain things in your home, or say things like “ohh, I’ll never do this or that” bruh. I’ve learned to first be SPECIFIC about what I do not like, AND WHY. Yepp you have to know WHY and make sure it aligns with the Word or you’ll give up pretty soon. Beyond that, I’ve imbibed the culture of writing down EXACTLY what I must do to be sure I don’t repeat them. Of course, I fall short in action here and there numerous times, but it’s better failing more at it now than failing the most when I have people whose lives are literally dependent on my choices and actions.
Book for this is a scarce commodity
4. You are never too young to get to know YOU, but “trust” will play a major role in walking you down this road. Exposure is a gift, EMBRACE IT!
I honestly battled with this for a while, but I’ve concluded on this: “You might think you know you, till you allow the One who formed you expose you.” It turns out that you might really be shocked by this “exposure” like I have been lol. Perhaps, the most shocking thing is how, when, and where God chooses to bring your attention to something. As much as I want to work on myself and deal with my weaknesses, there are some things I’d neverrrr discover about myself except I’m willing to let God point them to me. I’ve learned to let go and not even bother arguing: trust me, when I say you’ll be shocked by the exposure. But there’s that assurance that God is so mindful of you, full of love and grace, never condemning but always willing to lead you till you become beautifully refined.
Book: The Purpose Driven Life. by Rick Warren
3. Meeting a person is never coincidental, but not everyone can be your friend.
People are colors!! Good people add beautiful colors to your life. The chance of you meeting one person, out of a million others, is considered “random” by unwise people. But I’ve learned that different people will come into my life at different seasons; some to build me, some for me to build, and some I build together with. However, tagging someone as a “friend” is quite expensive. And by that, I mean it takes time, patience, and consistency on your path to KNOW who your friend is. I’ve learned to choose my friends wisely; they literally define the quality of my life. Above all, I’m superbly glad for the people I call “friends;” I’m constantly reminded that God really loves me because He surrounds me with such amazing people.
2. Life literally begins when YOU begin to consciously grow in the knowledge of your maker. Living a fulfilled life lies in this. Pursue knowledge…defy feelings!
When I started growing in the knowledge of my maker, life couldn’t have looked more beautiful, and my purpose couldn’t have become clearer as well. But one thing I struggled with was defying feelings. Many times we KNOW that God has said this or that about us but the things around us (and even within us sometimes) say the exact opposite. So many examples to give for this, (post for another day) but one thing I’m happy I’ve learned (still learning) is that God is never moved by our feelings; He is moved by His Word. And if His Word says it, then it is! Nothing more and nothing less. Selah
1. There is more!!!
Apparently, this statement brings me the most excitement! I’m so glad that there’s always more: more to learn, more to give, more growth to be done, more of life to explore, more of Him to enjoy. There is always more! Thank you Jesus!
Song: There Is More Album. by Hillsong